


Big, Beautiful Erin

by HoltzLightSpecial



Series: Beautiful Erin [1]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: AU, Angst, Big Erin, F/F, Fluff, Helpful Holtz, Love, Tears, body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:26:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9349031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoltzLightSpecial/pseuds/HoltzLightSpecial
Summary: AU where Erin is very overweight, and doesn't feel beautiful. It's up to Holtz to tell her new girlfriend how beautiful she really is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was all inspired by an episode of "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody", where London looks in the mirror and thinks she's overweight. So at the suggestion of a friend on Instagram, I adapted it to Holtzbert where Erin actually is London's size she imagined in the episode. And dear Holtzmann tries to help Erin feel beautiful.
> 
> While London's size may seem rather exaggerated in the episode, I actually have known a few ladies that size and shape. Here's a pic for reference before entering the story:

Erin Gilbert had gained some weight.

 

This was hardly a new experience however. Erin had been struggling with her weight her entire life. Her love of food clashed with her desire to stay healthy, but the college years had brought upon her the freshman 20 that seemed to repeat itself every year. Erin's hips had grown enormous, and her tummy was large and pillowy from years of eating like a queen in campus dining halls. Erin had inherited one hell of a pear-shaped set of genetics from her family somewhere down the line, because it was a nightmare to find clothes that accommodated her huge hips and the rest of her body as well.

Yet here she was, several years after the end of her studies, and she was bigger than ever. Erin woke up every morning wondering when her scale would tell her she had hit 400 lbs, hating how the weight never seemed to go away, even after she had managed to fight it to a stalemate all her average-sized childhood and teen years.

Forming the Ghostbusters was a blessing, because then she met Jillian Holtzmann, as well as her own new family. But the way Holtzmann beamed at her, the way Holtzmann smiled and winked at her, the way Holtzmann seemed to lap up every single inch of Erin... it made her feel beautiful. And she couldn't lie to herself that she had gotten more than a little crush on Holtz herself.

* * *

"Er?" 

"Yes, Holtz?"

Erin was working on an equation on the whiteboard, dismayed whenever she saw her wide reflection in the board. But hearing Holtz made her perk up, and she spun around as quickly as possible - grimacing when one of her hips knocked into the board.

Holtz was leaning against a table, clearly hiding something behind her back, and was smiling sheepishly, her eyes big and hesitant.

 "I was in town and picked up a little something extra..." Holtz pulled a bag out from behind her, and handed it to Erin. The physicist took the bag, feeling hot when Holtz's fingers touched her own, and took a round package out of the bag and gasped.

It was a hefty peanut butter cheesecake from Alexander's, one of the best and busiest small bakeries in the entire city. It always took forever to get food there, let alone get inside. And peanut butter cheesecake was Erin's favorite...

"Holtz..." Erin softly said, moving her eyes from the confection to the two bright blue confections on Holtz's face, "how... how?"

"I could tell you were still hungry," Holtz shrugged. It was true. Even though the team had pizza a few hours ago, Erin was still ravenous, but had kept it to herself, especially since the pizza was going straight to her mammoth hips anyway. "And I knew this was..."

"My favorite," Erin finished for her.

"Yeppers," Holtz squeaked. 

A little beat.

"I don't want to assume, though. You don't have to eat it, honestly..." Holtz nervously said.

"But... you must've been in line at Alexander's for hours.." Erin said softly.

"Was it hours?" Holtz snorted, rubbing the back of her head. "Felt like a few minutes, sure, but I had a bootleg Flappy Bird on my phone so..."

"Holtz," Erin nearly choked, and Holtz was slightly taken aback herself, "this was so, so sweet of you..."

A small, warm smile crept on Holtz's lips. "It was nothing, really.. if it makes you happy, then, well..." Holtz folded her arms and tried to shrug as nonchalantly as possible, but she couldn't stop her eyes from betraying her, "it's worth it to see you smile."

Erin's heart stalled.

She walked as swiftly as possible, which wasn't easy considering her gravity, and put the cheesecake on another table nearby. Then she slowly spun around, and advanced on Holtz.

Holtz only had a few moments to realize Erin was coming for her. She smiled nervously, and muttered "Erin?" before suddenly Erin's lips were crashing onto hers.

Months of waiting, pining, longing, sniffling over her seemingly unrequited feelings for Dr. Erin Gilbert all became a blur as Holtz finally got what she had been wanting since "Come here often?" 

In that moment, Erin forgot about her weight, and how her family teased her at Thanksgiving and Christmas for her size, how she always had a hard time finding well fitting clothes, how every man and woman wanted to grab her large bottom. All that mattered was that Holtz was kissing back.

* * *

Abby and Patty warmly received the two's new relationship, and Kevin gave them both bone-crunching hugs. 

Erin felt like she could be herself around Holtz. Like truly. She felt so calm, and peaceful and happy around Holtz. Which was ironic considering how off the walls Holtz was.

They were currently at a Denny's, and Erin had just polished off a hearty lumberjack slam with extra pancakes. The waitress returned and asked if they wanted a dessert menu, and Erin blushed a little as she tried to divert her attention from the waitress.

"Baby?"

Erin looked up at Holtz, who was giving her an all-knowing, but gentle smile.

"You can have whatever you like... _ayyyyeee_ ," Holtz hummed, and she wiggled her eyebrows a little for emphasis.

Erin bit her lip. The waitress smiled warmly at the two of them.

"Actually," Erin said slowly, "could I have the original menu back?"

An hour later, and Erin had finished two more platters, and was rubbing her tummy happily with one hand while Holtz was holding her other, rubbing it with her thumb as she dreamily stared into Erin's eyes.

"That was amazing," Erin sighed.

"I'm so happy you enjoyed it hun," Holtz sighed back.

The waitress returned and asked if they wanted dessert again. Neither noticed that the waitress already had a dessert menu in hand, but Holtz silently raised her eyebrows again. Erin got the message and smiled harder. 

"Yes please."

* * *

Another hour later, Erin was stuffed and content, and slowly waded towards the cashier's desk, Holtz having wrapped an arm around her, and pecking her with several smooches. 

Erin's blood turned to ice when the cashier rang up the total, but Holtz didn't even flinch, and handed the cashier her debit card. Thankfully, Holtz was able to defrost her blood with a smooch on the lips this time as they exited the diner and got in the car.

16 minutes later, Erin was heaving herself out of the passenger’s side, and felt a slash of cold air on her belly, which was currently slightly exposed to the night's air. Erin grunted, and took her belt with both hands, and tucked in her great tummy again.

Holtz wrapped her arm around Erin's body once again as they walked up the steps and eventually to Erin's apartment. They decided to just binge watch Netflix for the rest of the night. On the couch, Erin was downright giddy and also amazed as Holtz draped an arm across her girth. Erin hid a frown as she thought to herself. Did Holtz not know how _fat_ she was? How lumpy and squishy she was? How... _oh_.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a kiss to her lips, and a little squeeze to Erin's warm, chubby cheek with Holtz's dainty little fingers.

A few hours later, it was already midnight, and Holtz was falling asleep.

"Should probably go..." Holtz murmured as she began to move her head from where it had been resting over Erin's chest.

"Oh," Erin said, rather sadly.

Holtz gave Erin another kiss and slowly got herself up, and stretched a bit. She noticed Erin was looking at her with sad eyes and a pout that made her round face puffier and even more adorable.

"Erin?" Holtz didn't want to ask, but...

"Will... will you stay?" Erin meekly asked.

Holtz seemed a bit surprised for a moment, but then she broke into a huge grin.

"If you'll have me."

A while later, Holtz was already in Erin's bed, while Erin eventually came back from the bathroom and lumbered into bed. Erin's weight caused the mattress to sink, and Holtz found herself rolled on top of Erin.

Erin looked ashamed, but Holtz just wrapped her arms around her large girlfriend. "You're so beautiful," Holtz cooed as she pecked Erin several times. Erin's shame went away in moments.

Later that night, Holtz woke up to find the bed empty. She heard a little clanging from down the hall, and heard Erin's microwave beeping. Holtz was able to peek her head around the corner a few minutes later to see Erin parked at her table, tearing into a paper plate of sandwiches she had made for herself. Holtz also saw a few bags of chips and a bottle of Coke. Erin was clearly famished, eating her food she'd prepared with great vigor. 

Holtz smiled softly, thinking it was adorable as always, but then she felt a pang as she realized that Erin probably privately stuffed herself like this all the time. The way Erin was wolfing down her food and how she did it in the dead of night made her feel that Erin felt really guilty about it, so she tried to hide it. She did pretend to be full from lunch the day they got together, after all.

Holtz sighed and returned to bed, leaving Erin to eat in peace.

* * *

Weeks later, Holtz was spending the night at Erin's again. While they weren't doing the deed yet, they were sleeping in fairly minimal clothing. Holtz wolf whistled when Erin stripped down to her bra and panties. Erin was holding her hands over her great belly and felt so exposed with her mammoth hips and booty out like this, but when Holtz came over and embraced her, and brought her in for a makeout session, her worries faded again.

 Later that night, after another secret feast, Erin went to the bathroom and took a glance at herself in the mirror. She noticed a bulge in her belly, the product of her big meal she'd just devoured. She frowned as she took in her large, plump figure in the mirror. To think she'd once been as thin as Holtzmann... 

Erin dragged out her scale from under her sink, and hobbled on. Frowning at the number she received, Erin got off, returned her gaze to the mirror, and grabbed her tummy with both hands and gave it a shake, sighing at all the jiggling. She slapped a pudgy hand on one of her great thighs, feeling how soft and cool it was. Erin then rested both hands on her tummy, pouting.

As Erin looked in the mirror at her body, she seemed to grow pale, toned arms that she saw wrap around her. Erin's pout vanished into a look of confusion and surprise. Then there was Holtz, leaning her head on Erin's shoulder after leaving a kiss on her neck. Erin could feel Holtz's much smaller body wrapped on her like a baby koala or something. And Holtz's hands were on Erin's, just tickling Erin's tummy in the process.

"You," Holtz sleepily hummed, "are _so_ freaking beautiful."

Erin's face was suddenly splashed with red. Holtz's hands moved a tad from Erin's hands to massage her big tummy, and Holtz was sleepily moaning as well.

Maybe, Erin thought, Holtz really doesn't mind that I'm so fat...

Maybe she really does like me in... every way? Even for my body?

Erin surprised herself with a sob, and Holtz stopped massaging her and snapped to attention. Erin was crying.

"Baby?" Holtz asked. "What's wrong?"

"I'm a cow..." Erin whispered.

"What?" Holtz's heart broke.

"I'm a _cow_ , Holtz. A fatty. A big pear shaped _blob_." Erin spat, hot tears suddenly stirring up.

"Honey..." Holtz said softly.

Erin stepped away so she was facing Holtz, not noticing how red Holtz's face was getting. She buried her own face in her hands.

"All my life I've been struggling to control my weight, then I let myself go in college and ended up this fat," Erin sobbed. "All I want to do is eat and eat, and I feel like an exploding cow!"

Erin continued to lambast herself for her weight until she glanced up to see Holtz holding herself, her face red and splotchy.

"Holtz?"

Holtz looked up at her through streams of tears.

"Why," Erin huffed, "why are you crying?"

"Because I'm a failure." Holtz whimpered.

"No-wait-why?" Erin asked.

Holtz twitched a little, then moved forward and took Erin's hands into hers, and got down on both of her knees. Erin felt the air being sucked out of her.

"I haven't done my job right. I haven't even been a good girlfriend, Erin. I haven't told you how beautiful you are Erin, at least not enough," Holtz sobbed, her eyes shiny and pleading. "Erin Gilbert you are so, so _beautiful_ that it-it makes me ache at night how lucky I am that you liked my shitty pick up lines and kissed me and cuddled..."

Erin looked down at Holtz in horror.

"And I'm not just talking about your outside either," Holtz cooed. "You're so smart and determined and cute and sweet and dedicated. You're brilliant, a genius, even smarter than me.."

"I wish you could see how beautiful you are," Holtz said, "but I know that's something totally up to you and for you to deal with... so all I can do is just try to help you feel beautiful."

Erin was quiet, tears still streaming.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world," Holtz said with a shaky voice thanks to her crying, but without any hesitation. "And baby I will _LOVE_ you" - Erin jolted at that word - "and love you for the rest of your days if you let me."

Holtz then rested her hands on Erin's jiggling, hanging tummy. "And I promise that this" shaking Erin's tummy gently, "is not a problem whatsoever. This would never be a problem, Erin. It's not something I have to ignore and focus on something else.."

Erin's heartbeat picked up when she saw Holtz bite her lip as she rubbed her tummy.

"I think it's sexy."

Erin looked at Holtz in shock.

"So I don't care if you're 600 lbs or 60 lbs," Holtz firmly said, "you are the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth, Erin Gilbert."

Holtz returned her hands to Erin's. "But if your weight bothers you this much, I'll help you lose it. I promise you Erin I will. Your happiness and mental health mean the absolute world to me."

"And you know," Holtz added, "if you want to gain weight, I'll help you too. The way I see it, every single little thing you do only makes you more beautiful to me. I will be aching at night in happiness whether you lose or gain a pound, or ten."

"But please, please," Holtz stressed, "please see that if nothing else, at the very bare minimum, I, Jillian Holtzmann, know from the bottom of my heart that you are the most beautiful woman on the planet, and I... I love you, Erin Gilbert."

Erin kept looking at Holtz in silence, her mouth agape.

Then she lunged down, and outright picked up Holtz so their faces were level. Now Holtz really was like a koala, her legs straddling Erin's chunky body, her arms in Erin's, and her face in Erin's own face.

"Oh Holtz..." Erin whispered. "Did you..." Erin sighed, "did you really mean all those things you said about me?"

"Of course I did," Holtz smiled hesitantly through some leftover tears.

"You know it's crazy..."

"What is?" Holtz asked.

"I outweigh you by about 200 lbs now," Erin gestured over to the scale, "but if I put just your heart on the scale, you'd break it, you know?"

Holtz grinned. "You are SO corny."

Erin bit her lip. "Yeah that sounded better in my head."

Erin noticed Holtz's eyes go to her lips when she bit.

"My eyes are up here, Holtz."

Holtz snapped to attention, grinning goofily.

"I can't help it you're so freaking beautiful."

Erin smiled, and wrapped her plump arms around Holtz's back and they were kissing quite passionately.

The kissing began to come with some grabbing and rubbing. Erin squealed when she felt Holtz lovingly caress her fat rolls and pudge. She really does think I'm beautiful, Erin thought to herself.

"Erin?" Holtz asked.

"Mm?"

"Just as a heads up, we.. we don't have to ever do anything you don't want to.." Holtz sounded like she was out of breath already. It only got worse when Erin responded by picking up Holtz and rushing as fast as her thick legs would let her, and they crashed into bed. Holtz was on her back, Erin straddling her and now upright. Holtz was blushing ferociously as she took in the sight of her girlfriend looming over her, looking hungrier than ever.

"I want to," Erin said simply, and Holtz whimpered as Erin slowly heaved her much larger body on hers. Feeling Erin's weight lightly crushing her...

"Yay," Holtz gasped, "because you are SO sexy, it's killing me."

Erin grinned. "Is that so?"

"Yass. Like you could walk in a room and I'd be turned on-ohhh"...

Erin was now face to face with Holtz, her girlfriend's tiny body virtually hidden by her own.

"Do me, Erin?"

It was an eventful night to say the least. Erin's bed got quite the action, both Erin and Holtz screamed and squealed in pure delight numerous times. By morning, both were lying in bed happy as clams. Erin had woken up earlier and went to the kitchen for snacks to bring back, and she was happily munching on them, feeling free for once.

And Holtz was lying there limply, shaking, hyperventilating, and trembling as she stared at the ceiling.

Erin looked over at her girlfriend, who was currently in a coma of ecstasy, and even crying, and beamed. She then took a look down at her own bare body, rubbing it gently, and looked back at Holtz.

“I love you too, Holtz.”

* * *

Eventually, Erin decided to go on a little bit of a diet, but a slow-paced, non-intensive one. Holtz had become her unofficial trainer naturally, happily buying Erin salads and fruits as much as she bought Erin her favorite sweets and treats. After several more looks in the mirror, Erin thought about years ago when she had looked in the mirror to find a much slimmer figure. But then she remembered how unhappy she was back then. While her current weight wasn't necessarily tied to the current happiness she enjoyed, Erin realized she'd gotten used to her weight.

So while she would try to take better care of herself and lose a few pounds, she was comfortable enough in her own skin now to feel she didn't need to dramatically change her body. Oh, she would try to moderate herself a bit, but she wouldn't starve herself either.

"I didn't want to admit it," Holtz said, "at least early on. But I do have a thing for big chicks," Holtz flashed Erin a grin, then took a finger full of Erin's pudge on her side, causing Erin to squeal. The two were currently in another diner, awaiting their meals. Holtz bit her lip at the sight of Erin's tummy being cut into a bit by the table of their booth.

"You didn't want to tell me?" Erin asked.

"Well, I was worried if I told you too quickly, well, you'd think I just had a fetish for your fat or something," Holtz grimaced.

"I think you kinda do," Erin smirked.

"Well.. I mean yeah.." Holtz had a lopsided smirk. "But I had a crush on you for more than just that."

Erin squeezed Holtz's hand. "Baby, you had a crush on meeeee?" She purred as sweetly and full of shit-ly as possible.

Holtz blushed and stammered, "Hell yeah."

Erin grinned. "You know, I think I'll tolerate fat jokes from you, now that I know it..." Erin poked her tummy, "has an effect on you."

Holtz's eyes were wide and her smile was huge.

"Like I said…" Holtz stuttered, “You could be any shape or size and you could just breathe and I’d be turned on.” Erin looked at Holtz with wonder.

The waiter arrived and brought out their food. "Here we are, a stack of ribs for you," placing one in front of Holtz, "and your steak and chicken." The waiter placed a whopping pound of juicy, sizzling steak in front of Erin, and then a basket of large chicken tenders.

After the waiter left, Holtz leaned her head into one hand and grinned at the angel across from her. "Never was a fan of the soup and salad kind of girls."

Erin beamed through a puffy mouth full of steak.

"You're so beautiful," Holtz sighed.

Erin blushed, and knew that Holtz was all she needed in the world.

And after so long, she felt like Holtz was right.

She felt _beautiful._


End file.
